Our Personal Preview of the Next 2 Years

Last week we got our permanent site announcements, met our counterparts for the first time, went on a four day visit to see our schools, introduced ourselves to our new community, and met our new host families. Needless to say, it was a big week.

This is a picture of all of the A-25s on the map of Armenia where their new site placements are. I'm up near the top, but the cool part is I'm only 2 1/2 hours away from the capital, 20 minutes away from Lauren, and my site, Vanadzor, is stunningly beautiful.

Day 1 - Meeting the Counterpart (Saturday)
Us TEFL volunteers will be working with an English teacher in our schools for the next two years. This way, we are not only helping students, but we're helping teachers learn new methods to help their students for years to come. We were introduced to our counterparts Saturday, and then continued to have a full day of activities to get to know each other and figure out how to work with each other. There are some major cultural differences between Armenia and the U.S. Those differences are exaggerated when you compare ways of doing business, especially when that business is teaching. However, after spending only about a half an hour with my counterpart, I discovered she was probably the most open-minded, enthusiastic Armenian woman, let alone teacher, that I've met. When doing a blind activity where we had to write down our priorities for working together and then share it after, we both put student learning above all else at the top of our list. Other priorities we had in common included building the relationship between us and figuring out ways to involve and help the community. A few more similar activities later, and my counterpart, M, turns to me and says, "I think we have the same brain. We think in the same ways." From our planning habits to even bits of life philosophy, we melded surprisingly well. This is a big deal. The cultural differences between us are vast and many other volunteers went through a very awkward day of realizing those differences and navigating them to the best of their ability. I feel as if M and I spent the day realizing our similarities and being amazed at how similar personalities can sometimes come together across the world.

After a day of planning together, M and I hopped in her brother's car for the drive up to my site. Cue a two and a half hour car ride without a single bit of awkward silence. It was amazing. M talked to me in only English and asked that I correct her errors, while I responded in only Armenian and asked M to do the same for me. It was fantastic, and we even stopped on the way to see some local sites.

On the left is a cross that was put up in 2015 for the 100th year anniversary of the Armenian genocide. It is made out of 1,716 crosses, one for every year that Armenia has been a christian nation. They add another cross every year. On the right is the Armenian alphabet carved out of stone. I am standing in front of "eh" which is what my name starts with - էմիլի.

After our car ride and sight seeing, I arrived at my host family to find my new host mom speaks some English and would rather be more of my friend than host mom. My new host sister is 17 and speaks amazing English, which helps a lot for miscommunication problems. I also have a 14 year old host brother, my host dad, and his mother in the house (who I will probably be calling my host mom from now on).

Day 2 - Helping a Local Business? (Sunday)
I woke up in my new site, my new bedroom, with my new family. It was very comfortable right from the beginning. I had a chill morning hanging out with the family and then went to meet one of the local PCV's (Peace Corps Volunteer), O, who has already been at my site, and Caleb.

Caleb is in my A-25 unit and is placed in Vanadzor with me. I just got permission from him to include his name, but he is the C I've mentioned in previous posts. Caleb and I were in our very first Skype language lessons together back in the states, did our practicum together, were placed in the same village and language classes together, and now will be site mates. We joke that we can't get away from each other even if we try, but really, I'm happy that I've somehow been paired with someone who I've really enjoyed getting to know since January. I'm sure we'll get to know each other much better over the next two years, and I'm excited for that opportunity.

Anyway, Caleb and I met downtown and O, the volunteer already in site, brought us to a local cafe. He explained that he helped two young Armenians start up this business, and two months later, they were considering closing. O wanted us to help him sit down with the business owners and come up with a new business plan for them by calculating their losses and profits. About a half hour in, O discovered I was good with numbers, and set me to work. Later, he had to go, but asked if I would stay and continue helping. So I ended up sitting with these two business owners and going over the rest of their new plan with Caleb. It was actually a lot of fun and made me feel like I was finally doing something instead of just being trained. The best part was, about an hour in, O tells Caleb and I that we actually know the young woman we were working with. Her father is our driver for the Peace Corps and he takes us to and from training everyday. He is super kind and we were ecstatic that we got to help his daughter.

Days 3&4 - Observing my Counterpart and Exploring my Community (Monday & Tuesday)
As I observed M teaching, we continued to meld extremely well. The suggestions I gave my counterpart for more student-centered lessons were implemented by her the very next day. Peace Corps staff who has been training TEFL volunteers for years had never even heard of a counterpart being that responsive before. I know it is still early, but this has been an incredible start to my counterpart relationship. I was received warmly be the whole school and given lots of ideas for what the school wants and needs. I'm excited for all the possibilities there will be for improvement moving forward.

I also explored some of the local things to do. My host ?friend? (supposed to be my host mom, but actually calls her mother-in-law my host mom), N, works at the local American Corners. It is an amazing resource in our community, and the people there will be fantastic connections for me in the coming two years. They have lots of English books and movies to lend out, a modern facility, and host English clubs for kids who want to learn more and improve their English outside of school. I got to sit in on a club and the kids were incredible. I stayed after the club was over because N was getting off of work a little later and we were going to go home together. I spent the next hour talking in Armenian with the wonderful women who work there, while they taught me some new vocabulary and helped with my grammar. This will definitely be a valuable space for me in the next two years.

On Tuesday, our last full day on our site visit, Caleb and I met up downtown. I decided to walk from my house (only about a 15 minute walk to the main part of the city). Down the main street by my house is a beautiful park where you can sit at picnic tables or even use some old soviet paddle-boats on our little lake. This particular day, the view stunned me, so I tried to capture it for you all.

As if this wasn't amazing enough, shortly after, Caleb and I discovered a seemingly never-ending շուկա (shuka), which is basically a market with tons of open stalls. This shuka was incredible with tons of food, clothing, and other options at a third of the price of what was in the capital city. We literally went in the shuka on one end, got a little lost, wandered for a while, and came out on the other side of the downtown area. All Caleb wanted to buy was some shoelaces because one of his broke. We didn't know the word for shoelaces, but stopped in the middle of like four shoe stalls and tried to explain what we needed. The shopkeepers were all patient and eager to help, and after we all understood each other and had a laugh about the communication struggle, one of the shopkeepers just gave Caleb his choice of shoelaces. For free. He refused to take any payment. Later, I was trying to buy some cologne. It's very cultural here to be wearing smell-good stuff. This too turned into four or five people eagerly trying to help, with some communication laughter, and lots of kindness. It was all an unforgettable experience.

Overall, I feel as if I hit the site placement jackpot. My closest friend here, Lauren, is in a beautiful village about 20 minutes away from me. I'm sharing my site with a fantastic volunteer that I'm comfortable with. My city is small enough to be cozy, but big enough for some modern conveniences. My counterpart is amazing and my school is welcoming. My new host family is the most perfect fit I can imagine. It rains a lot, but the sun usually comes out and gives us a rainbow. I am overwhelmed with how grateful I am towards the people who had a hand in my placement.

Not everything is perfect, but many volunteers are facing more challenges with their new sites than I am. I have some guilt over the struggles some of my friends will face that I won't. I also have some regret that they will be challenged and forced to grow in some ways that I probably won't. However, I suspect I will face different challenges in time, and perspectives may change as we all really get settled into our sites. This also puts me in a position where I can offer support to the volunteers who need it, which I plan to take on as a very real responsibility. I contemplated posting all of this for awhile because I know there are other volunteers who are probably upset, worried, or anxious about their sites. I'm beginning to finally learn to take the good as it comes though and not worry as much about the things I can't control or the things that haven't happened yet. That being said, I am just going to be grateful for what I have and try to do the best with what I've been given, while offering any help I can to those who were given something different. At least that's the plan.

I will try to do a shorter update soon. This one was really long. Thanks for any of you who have stuck with it to the end!

Կարոտում եմ ձեզ և հուսով եմ որ դուք լավ եք։ Սերի հետ, Էմիլի։
Karotum em dzez yev husov em vor dook lav ek. Seri het, Emily.

I miss you all and hope you are doing well.
With love,
Emily

The Power of Food

Tomorrow I find out where I will spend the next two years of my life. Our permanent site announcements are tomorrow, and us trainees have been anxiously counting down the days and guessing at the possibilities for awhile now. Saturday we meet with our counterpart teachers - the Armenian teachers we will be paired with for the next two years. It's an incredibly exciting and nerve-wrecking week. Perhaps in acknowledgement of that, the Peace Corps scheduled an afternoon off for us today. It was a beautiful thing.

Today started normal. We had a four hour language lesson starting at 8:30am. Since we just learned what feels like 20 new verb tenses (realistically, it was like three), we toned back a bit and went over some new cooking vocabulary. I can now give an entire recipe in Armenian, which is exactly what we did in class to practice our new vocab. We were told to pick anything we liked to make, write down the recipe, and then tell it to our classmates in Armenian.

So I was sitting there thinking about all of the delicious foods that I want to make while I am here. I haven't been allowed to really touch the stove at my house or even wash a single dish. This isn't out of a desire to limit or belittle me. Instead, my current host family is determined to treat me as a guest until I leave, and cooking and cleaning are always seen as labor. Let me tell you, when you're not allowed to do something, labor turns into a privilege very quickly. Needless to say, I've been missing cooking quite a bit and about a zillion comfort foods jumped into my head. However, there was one spectrum of flavors that has been noticeably absent in my diet which used to be a staple for me. I'm betting my brother, and SamCan(who is basically my sister), back home could guess in a heartbeat... Mexican food and anything spicy.

Back to the recipe assignment, I pick fajitas. I used to make them about once every other week at home and the craving was strong. I described the fajitas as best I could in Armenian, and my teacher, who is a total foodie, got about as excited as I did. Then I realize two things - 1. Most of these ingredients are available in Armenia, and 2. My wonderfully loving and giving parents just sent me a super amazing care package with Salsa Picante (hot sauce!!!) in it. A beautiful plan for my free afternoon was born.

During our next language lesson break, I casually mention to the group that I have an entirely delicious plan but need use of a host family's kitchen. Of course, my bright ball of sunshine friend, Lauren, immediately calls her host mom to ask. Her mom says yes, I tell my foodie LCF's that they are invited if I can pull this together, I get a few other trainees interested in the plan, and I (mostly) patiently wait for language lessons to be over.

Fast forward a couple hours, myself, Lauren, and C (another trainee), are determined to put this plan into action. First, we need to gather ingredients. Our little village has four separate khanoots (stores), but my host mom quickly informs me there are no bell peppers in any of them. C needed to go to the nearest town anyway (somewhat larger than our little village), so we decide to walk. It was a beautifully sunny day, so the three of us head out with out favorite village pup, Max, in tow on our 4km walk.

While in the town, we hit up a few different places. We get some spices from a store filled only with bulk spices that you can buy in any quantity. We get fresh produce from a couple different roadside farm stands. We eat some incredibly delicious fresh strawberries, and finally we make it to the biggest store in the town. We are able to pick up the rest of our list of grocery items (totally got lucky!), but not before we helped a 2-year-old celebrate her birthday party in the grocery store. DJ, fresh homemade Armenian pizza, Armenian Disney princess, and party games included. After that, it was time to trek back home.

Lauren, C, and I decided to only talk in Armenian the entire walk back. It was amazing and some much needed practice for all of us. We get back and find a few other trainees on our way through our village, so they join us. We started our adventure at about 1:30, and it was about 5:30 by the time we made it back to Lauren's kitchen, so it was time to get to work. We made some tea and coffee first, because here, that's a necessity before anything.

Then next couple of hours was a magnificent mixture of good company, food prep, Latin music, breaking gender norms (all of the male trainees with us were outside chopping vegetables), and just being free. There were several parts that seemed a little sketchy at times. Some of our chicken defrosted a bit weird. Homemade salsa proved a bit tricky. Our bell pepper stash was a little low and our hot pepper stash was a little high. Lauren's host family kept wanting to help despite our insistence that we were having fun (again, cooking = labor idea, but they are truly excellent humans). Anyway, we were having a blast, but would it actually make tasty food... meh. Who knows.

Around 7:30, our LCF's show up and the food is just about done. This is normal dinner time here. All of a sudden, everything had just wondrously come together, and it smelled DELICIOUS. We all ate, and the happiness was just emanating from the group. I can't properly describe the magic of the moment. Us Americans had a familiar taste of home. Our LCF's, who work so incredibly hard for all of us, who take care of us in so many ways, and who we all absolutely adore, were having a really good time and also loved the food. Lauren's host family even tried everything and appeared pleasantly surprised at how much they enjoyed it. There was a constant exchange of both English and Armenian. We were constantly passing food around. There was laughter, love, and just general contentment in abundance.

Afterwards, everyone helped clean up. Again, this doesn't usually happen here. Lauren's host family tried several times to get us to stop helping. Earlier though, I thanked Lauren's host mom sincerely for letting us use her kitchen and bombard her house, to which she had said, "Our home is your home. Our kitchen is your kitchen." So through the protests from Lauren's host mom about everyone helping clean, I simply replied, "Your home is our home, and we all clean in our own homes." It was a surprisingly successful cross-cultural exchange, and the best part is, we were all allowed to help. It was one more beautiful addition to a perfect evening.

I was unable to contain my pure joy and happiness at how everything went. I've inherited from my parents a simple and sincere pleasure in creating a meal that many others can enjoy. (For those of you who know my parents, you know the deep truth of this.) The other trainees fed off of my happiness, and something as simple as a meal from home created a night of love and family. We all realized at the end of the night that we hadn't thought about the nerve-wrecking events of tomorrow for hours. I personally hadn't thought about it since the idea of fajitas was first brought up. Food is definitely a powerful motivator.

Now, I am going into tomorrow with a strong memory of love. Even if we are across the country from each other, I have a deeper connection with each and every person I was with today. There is so much closeness you can feel with people merely from sharing one strong, positive memory with each other. I'm not really nervous for tomorrow anymore. Instead, I'm excited for what's next and ready to face it with the wonderful humans around me. All thanks to a spontaneous idea, the help of good friends, and some magical fajitas.

Tonight, I am wishing for all of you to create a new strong memory of love. In the words of two random Armenian women Lauren and I met today -

Մարդ և մարդ շատ կարևոր է։ (Mard yev mard shat karevor eh.)
Literally - Person and person is very important. In other words - Connect with someone. It matters.

Emily

So You Thought You Wanted to Teach English...

This was Practicum Week for us TEFL Peace Corps Trainees. We all went in with bright ideas and smiling faces. We were prepared. We've done tons of training. We've planned lessons and activities. We have halfway competent intermediate Armenian language skills. We thought we could do this.

Oh buddy. I'm going to stop right here and give a huge shout-out to anyone who has taught English as a Foreign Language for any length of time. You all are unsung heroes. I bow to you and your patience. I inherently admire your ability to roll with the punches and creatively solve problems on the fly. I'm sure not everyone's experience matches mine, but there are some things about TEFL teaching that seem innately difficult. I would gladly take teaching college freshmen or substitute teaching the rowdiest high school class over teaching TEFL any day... if I wanted to be comfortable that is.

Don't get me wrong, all teaching is difficult. Even with my minimal experience, I am so very aware of how hard teaching is, especially if you care about teaching. I'm sure there are some TEFL classrooms that are easier than a standard native-English speaking class in America. I'm sure there are plenty of TEFL classrooms that run smoothly and effectively. I'm also absolutely positive that this week being so difficult had a lot to do with my lack of experience in a TEFL classroom. Still, there are a lot of challenges here that I hadn't thought to worry about.

Challenge 1 - English is a mandated class. While this could be really cool in theory, in practice I can already see a lot of hurdles that arise. This means that your best students, who would be in like a high school English 4 class, are in the same classroom as your true beginners - those who haven't even retained the alphabet.

Challenge 2 - Here, and many other places, school discipline works very, very differently. I can't just send a student to the office or write a referral. Some teachers here use discipline techniques that I am not willing to use myself, so students may not respect my way of doing things. Many students will question my role as an authority figure solely because I am an American. Maintaining order is going to be a balancing act between getting students to be "on my side" and keeping enough distance to be respected.

Challenge 3 - Classroom culture is different. It is okay, and maybe even encouraged, for students to help each other, even when solo work is expected. I can call on one student and while they are trying to come up with the answer on their own, three other students are telling the student what to say. It is difficult to gauge where any individual is at because it's almost like teaching to a hive mind.

Challenge 4 - Directions. I need to give directions in order for students to do activities that will help them learn. However, half the students in the class still don't know the words in the directions, so they can't do the activities. I mime a lot. I use bits of Armenian. Still, it is a challenge that I will constantly be working to improve myself on.

This week was exhausting. We still had our four hour language lessons in the morning. In the afternoons, we taught one class, observed another, then had group debriefs and feedback sessions. In the evenings, we came home to our families, ate some dinner, then met up with our co-teacher to lesson plan everything for the next day. It was physically, emotionally, and especially mentally taxing.

I am glad the week is over, but I'm also grateful for the experience. I was in a 7th Form (7th grade) classroom, with some very bright and motivated kids. Even those who weren't as motivated made notable progress throughout the week, and I am definitely proud of them. The students were all very excited to have American teachers visiting, and a few were really sad that we were finished today. I can't wait to get into my permanent classroom. Although, I definitely want to learn a little more before that happens.

On a side note, if you've reached out to me at all this week, I apologize. It has been hectic and stressful, and I have a full weekend ahead of me, too. I will do my best to keep in touch with everyone as I can. Hopefully, my next post will have a little more sunshine.

Հաջողություն,

Էմիլի

One Month In

I've officially made it more than a month into my 27-month experience here in Armenia. I've been pretty sunny in my posts so far. Don't get me wrong, there are lots of good things happening and I am doing well day-to-day, but let me tell you, Peace Corps is hard.

I went from living alone, paying my own bills, and having complete freedom in my own house less than a year ago... to Armenia. PCV's are not allowed to drive in Armenia. We cannot be out of our village after 7pm. We must ask permission to leave the village at all. For many volunteers, the idea of us going anywhere, even a few houses down, alone, is foreign to our host families. Meals must never be eaten alone. Add to this training Monday - Friday from 8:30am - 5:30pm and Saturday from 8:30am - 12:30pm... I think you can get the sense of the change in my independence. It has been an adjustment to say the least.

I've also been sick. This is obviously inevitable, especially with the added stress in our lives. Still, it has been difficult. The first night I got really sick, and to keep this non-graphic, I was only leaving my bed for emergencies. My host dad was the only one home and got very, very concerned, very quickly. He insisted that I call my LCF's and tried in every way he could think of to figure out how to help me. He even made me tea and cut up an apple for me (things which many men in this country don't even know how to do) and tried to offer me a zillion other things, most of which I couldn't understand because my language brain had basically shut off. I, of course, didn't want anything as I'm sure it wouldn't stay down long, but I couldn't communicate that to him. He couldn't communicate to me how worried he was and we both ended up sitting together feeling defeated until he told me to go back to bed. I am doing significantly better now, and I got through it, but it was probably the most acutely I've missed my own parents because of their ability to just know what I need.

There seems to be phases while adjusting to living in a new country that the Peace Corps has tried to prepare us for. Many people apparently have a bit of an attitude dip right around the one-month-in mark, and I think that's definitely been felt in my village and by me. I was going to post last week at the official one month point of my service, but I needed to get out of the little slump I was in before I could take some perspective on it. I have felt like I'm stalling in the language, which is very discouraging considering my lack of ability to have the conversations I still want to have. Additionally, I felt like my family was losing patience with my speaking ability, which was probably an unfair judgement on my part. For brief moments, I have thought about how long these two years will be and I have definitely been concerned about the lack of autonomy. I was concerned about relationships at home, and I started to notice parts of the culture that I didn't think I would ever understand or relate to. Add to all of these complex feelings that I was sick and just wanted my own bed, some Gatorade, Netflix, a kitten to snuggle, and maybe even my parents to baby me a little, I was starting to feel it.

It got better though. A large part of this experience for me will be remembering that everything is temporary. The rough parts and the good will all be brief experiences, and staying present in those experiences is important. I like to balance things out a bit, so here are a few of the things that made me remember to take each moment as it comes and smile at the good.

My host parents actually have five kids of their own - four girls and one boy, all of whom are grown and live in Russia now. A lot of Armenia's workforce moves or lives temporarily in Russia because there is work there and as many Armenians will tell you, they love Armenia, but there's no work here. Anyway, one of my host sisters and my host brother are both visiting and they both have young children. Serojik is 3 years old, Susi is 2 and a half, and Armond is 2. They are adorable little tornadoes rambunctiously running around, and they love to try to mess with me and see what I'll do because I'm the big weird alien in their worlds. Serojik is basically non-verbal due to a birth injury and he has still managed to tell me that I needed to eat more soup because I was sick. He also follows me around the most and even tries to stop me from leaving the house for my lessons. He's taken a liking to me, and me to him. Susi, or Suso, Susanna, Sus, Shus, or the zillion other names she is called is incredibly smart at 2&1/2. She already speaks as much Armenian as I do, if not more. She speaks even more Russian than Armenian and can even sing a few songs in English. Armond is at the perfect age to be equal parts adorable baby and intelligent trouble-maker. He stares at me for long periods of time, but smiles when I make faces at him. The house is super crazy right now because of these kids, and there are definitely challenges to that, but I love them and smile more because of them. Small children are really a universal joy and challenge.

I went on a walk! By myself! It was absolutely amazing. I took a half hour of solitude on a beautifully bright and sunny day, put some headphones in, and walked. I went out to the fields in the sunshine, didn't speak a word of Armenian, and just soaked in the nature and beauty around me. It was probably the shortest span of time that I am most grateful for in my entire life. It really did wonders to recharge my spirit.

Also, there are puppies everywhere. We have a lot of stray dogs in my village, most of whom are incredibly benevolent and just want some pets behind the ears. Here's a few pics of those little bundles of joy.

From top - Remy (super laid back), Panda (mix of spunky adorableness and trouble maker), and Archook (little white ball of fluff)

Gonch - He will play fetch for hours and will jump 6ft walls for his stick. Also, he eats sticks.

Max -  Possibly the friendliest and most popular dog around. He will cuddle for food, but also just for cuddles.

Today, my host sister (who makes some amazing food, by the way) made some Armenian pizza. It is way different from American pizza, but still delicious. Anyway, I ate a ton of it at lunch. There was still some at dinner, but my host sister had already put a ton of food on my plate so I didn't have any room for more pizza. After I barely manage to eat all of the food that was put in front of me despite my protests of wanting less, my host sister puts a piece of pizza on my plate. It's not rude to have an empty plate here. It's not even an invitation for more. However, I am a foreigner and guest in my host parents house, which means they must make sure that I do not lose any weight at all costs because that would mean they're not taking good care of me. It does not matter in any way how much I contest this fact. I say that I am way too full when she puts the pizza on my plate, but that definitely does not matter. I promise you all, I was speaking Armenian. The pizza still ends up on my plate. So, when my host sister turns her back, I very slyly put the pizza back. A neighbor who was sitting next to me and speaks a little English was totally on my side and smiled about it. However, my host brother sitting on my other side and grinning just like my American brother would, promptly tells my host sister very quickly in Armenian that I put the pizza back (probably thinking I wouldn't catch it). Of course, I know the word pizza. Hint* it's a universal word. I yell at my host brother and everyone bursts out laughing and it was just such a sibling moment that I absolutely loved it. Plus, I won. I didn't have to eat the pizza. =)

Now that I've started telling the good stories, I just want to keep going, and there are plenty more. The good stories will be what keeps me here and what keeps me excited about being away for two years. I know there will be lots more rough spots, but I know there will be lots more good, too. Keeping to my mantra of being present, right now, I'm still a little sick, there are still some parts of my day when I am dragging and discouraged, but I am writing this while two little boys sit on the couch next to me and they smile every time I look over. Susi is currently in search of ice cream, so I don't blame her for missing the captivating show of me typing.

I leave you with the most recent stunning picture of our village view of Mount Ararat. (There's a bigger and much prettier version on my pictures page.)

Շնորակալ եմ ձեզ համար և հուսում եմ դուկ մնում եք լավ։

I am grateful for you all and I hope you all stay well.

Emily