Whoa, emotions!

Okay, so I have officially made it through Staging. We leave tomorrow and have completed all of our initial training. That information dump I was hoping for... definitely got it. I think this point of the process was more about our emotions though, and preparing for what will probably be a very long 27 months. Here's the quick version of what stuck out to me in the last couple days.

"I can't wait to put the straightener to rest!" - This statement from another Trainee (that's what we are until we graduate from PST) really stuck out to me. This young woman is, I'm inferring, feeling liberated from American beauty standards by her Peace Corps experience. The speaker had perfectly straightened hair when she said this and it just struck me as bizarre that we feel so compelled to follow our cultural beauty standards that going to another part of the world feels like an escape from those standards.

"Armenia is a well-dressed place." - This was said by one of our primary trainers. I am mentally preparing to be in dress clothes constantly for the next 27 months. This may seem like not a big deal to some people, but I am sooooo going to miss jeans and hoodies. For those of you who I may call up in the future, please let me vent about this. I'm guessing about six months in, it's going to be one of those little things that starts to feel like a very big thing.

We were asked at the beginning of our sessions, "What do you think is your purpose, personally, throughout your Peace Corps service?" After a few broad, benevolent responses, many of which I identified with, a young man in my unit offered this touching insight, "To love. I think that's the basis of what holds us together as human beings." Looking at this Trainee, many would have seen the typical young, straight, probably middle-class, white, American male. To hear such a heartening purpose come out of his mouth was a lesson to us all about the common sentiments we all held in that room, no matter what we looked like. It was absolutely a collective moment.

"Going into a community is completely equal footing. We are not their savior. They are teaching us as we are teaching them." - These are the words one of our trainers said, but they also showed us the following quote which I think is vital to share.
"If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. If you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together." - Lila Watson
This experience is one I intentionally sought out for two major reasons. One, I have a deeply ingrained desire to help other people. Two, I know I have so much growth yet to do, and I thought this was one of the best ways for me to do it. It's important for me to remember that my community is helping me as much, although probably more, than I am helping them. I think it's even more important that we all, as Americans, recognize this fact as well... not only in the context of my Peace Corps experience, but in many other service contexts, even domestic ones.

There was so much more that happened within the last 48 hours, but I don't want to make this post 20 pages long. We spent a lot of time on reflection and were asked in multiple ways what the next 27 months will mean to us, what we will have to sacrifice, what we hope to gain, what our fears are, and what are our aspirations. I think it's important to note that they also told us to think about going home. Our trainer told us to take the night and be sure of our decision. We go to Armenia tomorrow, and it is better to decide we are not ready for this now than to get placed in a community and not be able to handle it then. Of course they have all kinds of support that we thoroughly discussed if that does happen. Still, they have mentally prepared us and want us to genuinely reflect on our commitment to this cause out of concern for our own well-being. I was impressed with the sentiment of it all, especially keeping in mind the considerable resources they have already expended on each of us.

And in case any of you were wondering, I am personally 100% sure of my commitment to do this and see it through to completion. I'm even more sure now than I have been at any other point in this process.

One last thought before I head out to enjoy our last night in the United States with my fellow trainees... The Peace Corps Director is a president-appointed position. There is currently an interim director as the US president has not made an appointment. Our funding is a government-controlled budget. It operates in cycles, so we are currently still a go, but it is unclear what may happen in the future. I have added the three goals of the Peace Corps to the right of my blog. This is an important mission. This means something in the world. Look up the story of how the Peace Corps came to be (by JFK in 1960-61 on the University of Michigan's campus). This is a cause we can all agree, from all political perspectives, brings good into the world. There is still bipartisan support for the Peace Corps, but just in case, please continue to talk about this organization. Talk to your congress reps, talk to your neighbors, talk to the kids around you. Don't let the United States forget that we are still capable of doing good things in the world.

Love to all of you. My next post comes from Armenia!!!

Hajoghootyoon!

Emily