This week I participated in a training initiative by Peace Corps Headquarters. The training was focused on inclusion and diversity and how our staff could do more to support our diverse volunteers.
I got to share a part of myself that I've had to hide in Armenia - a part of myself that includes a certain amount of risk here. Myself and 5 other volunteers were selected to share with all of PC Armenia staff, from custodians to drivers to the three American staff who head our post.
This was a moment of intense vulnerability for me. As I was facing this large group of people, the vast majority of whom come from a culture where people like me live in fear, I decided to hold nothing back. I shared, I opened myself up to questions, I allowed for misunderstanding, and gave my fellow Peace Corps Armenia people space to learn and be a bit vulnerable themselves.
My 5 fellow volunteers shared just as much of themselves. They talked about the experiences they've had in a country that is 98% homogeneous. I am white. I am the whitest of white. My ancestors include a spattering mix of European nationalities, all of which have their own specialized history of racism and prejudice. Sadly, I am what most of the world and especially Armenia see when they think "America." I don't have to defend my nationality, disclose my ethnicity, or ever answer the question, "Where are you REALLY from?" Hearing the intense experiences many of my fellow PCV's go through just because they don't fit this pasty, inauthentic view of America was a humbling and ghastly experience to say the least. Add to that the context of what's happening in our home country right now, and I was literally speechless at the vulnerability and enduring strength I got to see from my friends.
(I really, really want to include a side-rant here about people who believe Americans with diverse heritage, latinx Americans, and black Americans are somehow "less American", especially since I see diverse PCVs selflessly representing the best of America every day, especially since they go through more tribulation and challenges overseas because they face this view not only in their home country, but also in many places abroad, especially since they face all of this CONSTANTLY, with no reprieve, and still freely give of themselves to increase trust and understanding across the world... But I'll avoid the full-on rant and leave it at this brief comment.)
This conference had a huge impact on me for multiple reasons. Firstly, I'm so happy that an organization I believe in is making strides to be better at producing equity and providing resources to those who need it. I also felt closer to those five other volunteers in this past week than I can properly describe. We all shared a deep part of ourselves with each other - our weakest and our strongest moments. That in itself made this week invaluable. The last reason is in our vulnerability, our PC Armenia staff was able to see beyond cultural differences, beyond what they don't understand, and just see people.
I think the best of Armenia comes out in its seeing of people. Do you owe money? No problem, I see you as a person and understand you're struggling. Do you need a break? Okay, I'll cover, I'm gonna need one soon, too. Does that tatik (grandma) need some extra time, extra help, extra space or an added stop for the hectic buses? No worries. The driver will wait, the younger people will give up their seats, the crowd will hold her bags, help her on and off, and the driver will stop where she needs. People care about people here.
So I feel I made an impact. Maybe that impact is really small in the long run, but many Armenians who object to who I am based off their culture, got to see a person - a kind of person most of them have never met before and definitely a person they haven't talked openly with. In exchange for my vulnerability, I received an overwhelming amount of support that I was in no way expecting. The amount of hugs and words like, "I want you to know I support you," was amazing. I really believe I even helped to move some minds a little further from fear and hate and a little closer to understanding. That, my friends, is the power of vulnerability.
Last note - PC Armenia knows the importance of being confidential with my identity. It is still important for me to keep certain parts of myself hidden from the population at large here. Please respect that in your comments, as this is a public blog. Thank you.
This conference had a huge impact on me for multiple reasons. Firstly, I'm so happy that an organization I believe in is making strides to be better at producing equity and providing resources to those who need it. I also felt closer to those five other volunteers in this past week than I can properly describe. We all shared a deep part of ourselves with each other - our weakest and our strongest moments. That in itself made this week invaluable. The last reason is in our vulnerability, our PC Armenia staff was able to see beyond cultural differences, beyond what they don't understand, and just see people.
I think the best of Armenia comes out in its seeing of people. Do you owe money? No problem, I see you as a person and understand you're struggling. Do you need a break? Okay, I'll cover, I'm gonna need one soon, too. Does that tatik (grandma) need some extra time, extra help, extra space or an added stop for the hectic buses? No worries. The driver will wait, the younger people will give up their seats, the crowd will hold her bags, help her on and off, and the driver will stop where she needs. People care about people here.
So I feel I made an impact. Maybe that impact is really small in the long run, but many Armenians who object to who I am based off their culture, got to see a person - a kind of person most of them have never met before and definitely a person they haven't talked openly with. In exchange for my vulnerability, I received an overwhelming amount of support that I was in no way expecting. The amount of hugs and words like, "I want you to know I support you," was amazing. I really believe I even helped to move some minds a little further from fear and hate and a little closer to understanding. That, my friends, is the power of vulnerability.
Last note - PC Armenia knows the importance of being confidential with my identity. It is still important for me to keep certain parts of myself hidden from the population at large here. Please respect that in your comments, as this is a public blog. Thank you.
